25 Xmas Ideas to Torture Your Roommate

Read our 25 Xmas Ideas to Torture Your Roommate. To be honest, most of them are rubbish – except for number 9. Oh yes, Cliff Richard.

• Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.
• Go to the mall with your roommate and sit on Santa’s lap. Refuse to get off.
• Wear a Santa suit all the time. Deny you’re wearing it.
• Squat in a corner rocking back and forth chanting, “Santa Claus is coming to town, Santa Claus is coming to town…”
• Hang mistletoe in the doorway. When your roommate enters or leaves the room, plant a big wet one on his/her lips.
• Hang a stocking with your roommates name on it. Collect coal and sharp objects in it. If s/he asks, say “you’ve been very naughty this year.”
• Paint your nose red and wear antlers. Constantly complain about how you never get to join in on the reindeer games.
• Make conversation out of Christmas Carols. (i.e., “You know, I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night.”)
• Contuinuously sing Millenium Prayer, the Cliff Richard version.
• Wrap yourself in Christmas lights and roll around in the snow.
• Sing: “All I want for Christmas is my roommate’s two front teeth…” Give your roommate the gifts from the twelve days of Christmas song.
• Build a snowman with your roommate and place a hat on its head. When it doesn’t come to life, cry hysterically”it didn’t work!”
• Whip your roommate screaming “now Dasher, now Dancer, now Donna, and Blitzen, etc.”
• Tear down all your roommate’s Christmas decorations yelling “Bah Humbug!”
• Wake up every morning screaming “Ghost of Christmas Future, please have mercy on my soul!” (The Lords Of Darkness apply here too…)
• Tell your roommate you’re moving out. Santa’s buying you a house on 34th Street.
• Pin a poinsetta to your lapel.
• Make anatomically correct gingerbread people and eat the best parts first.
• Put on a fake white beard and insist that all your roommate’s friends “give it a yank.”
• Ring jingle bells maniacally saying “every time a bell rings an angel gets his/her wings.”
• Stand in front of the mirror reciting “How the Grenache Stole Christmas” over and over in your underwear.
• Smoke mistletoe. Do what comes naturally.
• Watch your roommate when s/he is sleeping. When s/he wakes up sing, “he sees you when you’re sleeping…”
• Steal a life size nativity scene and display it in your room. When your roommate asks, tell him/her “I had to let them stay here, there’s no room at the inn.”
• When your roommate goes to the bathroom, rearrange his/her possessions. Tell him/her that Santa’s elves must have done it.